I’m back after, not necessarily tine off, but just time slacking off. I’ve hung in there and set a great foundation for myself. I was cruising, as far as lifting, running and consistency was going. Can’t say the same about diet, so I’ve stayed around 210-212. Then, a few issues popped up.
My back was first….and worst. This lasted a good few months. It was extremely frustrating. It’s ok now, but far from perfect. Excuse gone.
After my back, I decided to have my knee checked, still while at gym every day. To my surprise, I’ve had a torn ACL for 13 years. I decided to not get a full ACL reconstruction, but to just clean it out to be able to run and live daily life pain free. I just can’t play shifty sports etc. pickleball will have to wait 🙄.
However, workmen’s comp denied the surgery, I spite of only hurting my knee at work my whole life, since a major surgery FROM WORK in 2010. I went back to the doctor and now I need an attorney or I just use my own insurance. It’s bullshit, but I’ll get it done.
Through the physical setbacks I hung in there, always at the gym. I’ve gotten much stronger by implementing push ups the last few months. Then I got into a “relationship”, albeit seemingly one sided. I was lonely and I chose beauty over substance. And I lost her, too. I didn’t stay true to myself. I’d like to say never again, but I just don’t know anymore.
So now I’m single, healing up, and ready to make a huge run at happiness is MANY ways. I refuse to have this summer start in bad mental and physical shape. The truth is, I’m getting older. I want companionship and I don’t want it out of desperation. I want to be the best version of myself. I want to give someone, MY BESR FRIEND, as much as I can. I want to deserve love back. None of this has any chance if I am not at peace with myself.
It’s February 26th. I’m on the couch, tired. I’m on vacation. I’m now pleading with my inner bitch to go to the gym. I will go. Then, I won’t stop. Now that I’m on my own…. Again, I have 4 goals until summer.
1. I will be at the gym and working HARD every day I can.
2. I will be eating good. For me that means primarily meat, eggs, cheese, spices and mushrooms peppers and onions. I will be fasting 22-2 most days. 5 days out of 7.
3. I will have fun. I will go out with friends and have fun. Not often, but when I do go, it will be fun. Having fun is not a crime.
4. I will start my book on this grind, so others can not only see it can be done, but exactly how. So, from February 26th to December 31st, will be documented. I’m 218 now and we will see where it ends. the weight won’t matter. The grind will.
All this Will lead to me being a better person in all aspects of my life… PERIOD.
Quiet Desperation 