Am I Happy?

Since I started this journey on December 18th, many things in my life has changed…. For the better. Nothing, not one thing, is currently worse. Still, people question if I’m “happy” or if I’m too hard on myself?

This is what unhappy looks like with me….

1. Being in pain way more than I should.

2. Breathing heavy walking up stairs.

3. Not seeing family and friends because I’m embarrassed.

4. Becoming a hermit.

5. Being stuck in a constant state of addiction, nicotine, gambling, ANYTHING that will make me feel better, even for an hour.

6. Dressing like a bum because nothing fits right and I could care less.

7. Constantly feeling like I’m underachieving.. and being correct.

8. Feeling like I let everyone down.

9. Being a shit employee. At least not as good as I could be.

10. Hating myself and life and general.

Here’s the thing about that list. Not ONE of those are true today. I have no reason to lie. If you read my blog, you will see, if nothing else, transparency.

Getting to where I’m at right now, waking up before 4 am every day is pretty hard to do depressed. I love the grind. I love everything about it. I finally feel whole, complete.

Some may not want to jump in. Some take it slow. Slow and steady wins the race. In my opinion, these people just leave the door open to quit.

Right now I go to the gym 6-7 days a week. I do a few ice baths a week (would be more if I had a water chiller), take 2 cold showers a day, 30 minutes in the sauna a day, lift hard and do cardio EVERY time I’m at the gym, do 10k steps minimum and eat one meal a day, meat and eggs.

Today, I see friends, I see family as much as I can. I also excel at work. I have energy. I dress nice. I sleep well. I feel good. Period.

I can’t possibly imagine being unhappy and doing all this. 🤔. Seems impossible to me.

Do I want more out of life still? Fuck yes!! I want love, money, peace, comfort etc etc..Just like everyone else. The difference is, I’m going after it! I don’t and will never, ease into anything in life. So if you want to, go for it. Just don’t project your dreams of happiness on me. We are not the same.