Author Archives: The Comeback Kid

I’m back! I’m back! I’m mutha fucking back!!

My back is better and I kept it together the whole 2 months it bothered me. 8 weeks of pain and fasting. No gym. No fitness. No promise of when I could get back to work. I still stayed strong.

I’ve lost 29 lbs through fasting abs eating only meat, eggs and a little cheese. I’ve suffered a lot through this, and although my back was killing me physically, the real test was mental. I passed. I’m ready to move forward in a big way. I didn’t quit on myself.

Some changes I’ve already made are taking my nephews out once a week, which is awesome. I’m also trying to see my family more in all facets. I just purchased a new couch and completely revamped my whole apartment. I’m ready to do great stuff. Fun stuff. I’m ready for life to fall into place.

I’m ready to work my ass off to get right!

Til next time 👊🏼

6 weeks, my back has been fucked up. Draining to say the least. However, more than draining is motivating. I’m pissed. I’m ready to be better and get to the gym daily. I feel like a caged animal ready to run.

When my back is better it’s 6 days a week of hard lifting, cardio and discipline in all areas. Maybe this happened for a reason. I’m fucking ready to change. Let’s gooooooo!!!!

My back is better. I’m really hoping it’s back to normal tomorrow. I have a new lease. I’m off social media until Jan 1st.

It’s time to put the fuck up or shut the fuck up. EVERYTHING is on the line the next 140 days and I fully plan on losing 64 lbs in said time. I’m 260 now, down from 272. My goal is 196. The time is now.

I’m still trying to figure out my diet. The only thing I know is I will be fasting in some way. My life is about to change and it will all be on this blog. 👍🏼✊🏻

Finally, I’m in a groove. I’m getting up at 3:50 am and going to the gym. Im actually feeling like I can turn the corner soon. The rhythm is coming back. Then, boom! My back goes out.

Normally, I’d cry and whine that I can’t catch a break, but as I lay here practically paralyzed with, more than likely, inflammation that I get about once a year for a week or two, all o can think about is when this passes I’m coming for everything. My mind is strong. You don’t know what you got until it’s gone. When my back is ok it’s all changing.

I’m setting goals, getting passions back, and most important, I truly feel like I will accomplish them. I’m done being a victim to my own thoughts. When my back gets better I will start these goals. One day at a time, I will grind more than I ever have before.

1) weight loss:

This is my biggest goal. It’s what has always driven me the most. I’m seriously contemplating going back to plant based until Jan 1st and fasting. I want to build mental toughness and clarity. As much as I am pro-meat and feel like it helps me, the truth is it’s done jack shit for me the past few years. That may be my fault. I accept that and if I on point I will revisit it in the winter.

Plus, plant based always made me feel clear. To be ho eat it tastes better too. This is not set in stone, however. My diet is not as important as my mindset and consistency. With those two things, any diet I choose can only improve my health, mind and strength.

I want to work hard at the gym 6 mornings a week. Track my numbers. Put together a half hour of hard work and a nice sauna daily.

My cardio will consist of boxing 2-3 times a week at first. But I would like to do cardio at the gym once a week. Even if it’s weak. I got to get out of comfort.

I want to buy an ice bath or at least an ice maker and take an ice bath daily to go with cold showers. At the very least I will do it after boxing. Hot and cold is the name of the game.

I will get from 272, 262 now, to 196 on New Year’s Day. I truly believe this. I will chart all progress.

2 Passion)

I will start videoing my journey so it’s the end I can inspire others. This will hold me accountable.

More importantly, I will start a business plan for a gym. I will get my lap top fixed and start. I will research and I will have my own gym by 50 years old. Preferably 49, but 50 will do.

3) Finances

I will up my Roth and 401k and TRY to limit gambling and useless spending of money. I will use the money to fix up apartment etc. this may be toughest of all. I just need consistency in 401k and Roth. Working more hours will help. It will all line up. I need a better budget.

4) Tattoo

When I get to my goal, I will get the sleeve I’ve always wanted. One life. Now or never. 190 and a sleeve next summer. I will find love. Love of myself. Which will lead to others.

I’m all in. Going to shock the world. I’m fucking back!

Today I decided to stop being a little bitch and do a real fast. I decided to suffer. To get out of my comfort zone. Today I decided to eat as little as possible for 60 days… of hell.

First: 24 hour fast

Coffee (black)

Bone broth

Electrolytes

Tons of water

1 meal a day

Gym

Boxing

I’m getting in shape. That’s that.

Edit: CHECK ✔️ 🤘

As August begins, I revisit this blog to see I have been saying the same shit for 3 months. In actuality, probably about 4 years. I’m like a prisoner in my apartment. I don’t want to see anyone. Very little brings me any happiness. Sickness is what I feel. Fatigue, mentally and physically.

The thought of rebounding like I have before is constant. It drives me fucking crazy, daily. I’m entering the twilight of my life and I’m just not able to get started on a path to feeling better. I’m 268 lbs. I feel like a piece of garbage. I could change ALL of this tomorrow. Or… I could sleep in again. I truly don’t have much left. I’m tired.

🤮

Tomorrow is the start of a new life. No more depression. Suffer now and be content forever.

271-200

Jan 1st

2 meals

Smoothie

Fruit, beef, salad

Gym x 6

Boxing x 3

LMNT

Vit D

Zinc

Get your fucking shit together.

One day at a time.

Next goal:

August 1st 245

Let’s. Fucking. Go.

That being said, I’m not ready to die. I might feel like I am. I might even be better off dead. However, I’m not ready. I know what it’s like to live and feel great. I don’t have words anymore. I need actions. I need to set and crush goals. Period.

I’m not sure I can reach goals anymore. I’d like to think I can, but I’m not physically feeling it. I’m suffering from depression and a complete lack of self confidence. I can’t do the things I want to do. I have isolated myself from most people outside of work. I pretty much hate my life and I’m tired.

Goals 262-200

July 1st. 256

August 1st 239

September 1st 224

October 2nd (birthday) 209

November 199

I will start out carnivore with smaller meals in July. I will go to gym 5-6 days a week. Boxing on 3 days. Obviously quit smoking and gambling outside ufc draft kings. I will start fixing up apartment, paying bills, living. I will walk through the shadows in the valley of death. 😞😡

I’m going to do this. I’m going to go through hell until it becomes my safe place. 😈

Let’s try this one last time.

I just erased a 7 post blog explaining how I lost 20 lbs because I went back off track and “recreational” use of cigarettes turned into yet another full blown addiction. If you know you know. I never talk about it, it’s embarrassing, but it’s so hard to stop. So I ate a ton for a weekend to make the pain go away while quitting. Then I started again. It’s a unique torture, as it absolutely sucks to smoke and sucks to not smoke. Like most addictions, you chase something that ruins you when you get it. Either way ot sucks.

The only way out is to go through hell for a good week or two and not give in. I’ve done it before and it’s possible, albeit very very hard. Much easier to quit abs just throw on 25 lbs eating 😞.

I’m constantly tired. I lack the confidence to go out with friends. I don’t even have the desire to go out masked without alcohol anymore. I can’t live like this. It’s my own prison in my head. Just me. Always.

I’m stuck. Two steps forward, 2 back. And on and on and on. Story of most of my life and, once again, the last month.

I’m sick of starting over. I’m sick of hating myself. I’m sick of being afraid to leave my house and talk to others because I feel like shit. Basically, I’m sick of failing. Over and over and over.

The only thing I know is I didn’t fail physically for a few years, from 2016-2018. I went to the gym every day, ate perfect, lived clean and felt physically amazing. Yet the rest of my life sucked. I had just got out of a relationship that really hurt me and had me moving back home for a time. I lost the job I loved with friends I loved only to end up working at a supermarket. Every day I went in I felt like such a failure, BUT physically I was a machine.

Now I have my own place, a good job, the same job I left, with good pay, and a new purpose in my life, acquiring my own gym.

All this being said, I’ve struggled HARD to get the feeling of content back. I NEED to find a routine. Through my shit blood work from smoking, to actually still smoking on and off, to letting everything and everyone get in my way of where I need to be, I need to come out the other side.

So here are the goals, once and for all.

245-200 by September 1st

Boxing gym 3x a week

Gym 5x a week

Keto diet

Fasting 1-2 meals a day depending on boxing

Cold showers

Become financially responsible.

If I do this, life will come together. I will get what I want. If not, I will be miserable. 😞. My choice.

Edit: I failed. I couldn’t stop smoking. I couldn’t get my shit together. I just didn’t see the urgency. 😞