That being said, I’m not ready to die. I might feel like I am. I might even be better off dead. However, I’m not ready. I know what it’s like to live and feel great. I don’t have words anymore. I need actions. I need to set and crush goals. Period.
I’m not sure I can reach goals anymore. I’d like to think I can, but I’m not physically feeling it. I’m suffering from depression and a complete lack of self confidence. I can’t do the things I want to do. I have isolated myself from most people outside of work. I pretty much hate my life and I’m tired.
Goals 262-200
July 1st. 256
August 1st 239
September 1st 224
October 2nd (birthday) 209
November 199
I will start out carnivore with smaller meals in July. I will go to gym 5-6 days a week. Boxing on 3 days. Obviously quit smoking and gambling outside ufc draft kings. I will start fixing up apartment, paying bills, living. I will walk through the shadows in the valley of death. 😞😡
I’m going to do this. I’m going to go through hell until it becomes my safe place. 😈
Quiet Desperation 